The other day Brady and I were talking about an ongoing situation and I said that I was '
waiting for the other shoe to drop.' Well, needless to say, Brady had no idea what I was talking about. I told him that it meant that I was waiting for something else bad to happen since something already had once before. Um, a bit negative but also a bit realistic and phrased oh-so-politely. Kind of like the southern folks I grew up with in the once small but now fairly bustling farming town of Waycross, GA.
That conversation got me thinking about all of the idioms (
the bee's knees!) that my Nana, Papa, Aunt Bertie and all the other family and people around town used to say on any given time. I sat down and made a list of a few of them to share. Some of them are pretty funny. Some of them are, well, surprisingly crass. Just like me! So, enjoy this lighthearted foray into my version of southern speak!
I haven't seen you since you were knee high to a grasshopper. Translation: I haven't seen you in a long, long, long time (in my mind) and I just might try to make you feel guilty about it.
If I had my druthers then I'd... Translation: If I had my way then a, b and/or c would happen and it would be better than Bobby's/Ernastine's idea that you told me about.
Slower than molasses in January. Translation: Even slower than things are right now...and that's pretty darn slow.
Bless her heart! She got hit with the ugly stick. Translation: A bitchy way of saying that someone is intimidating someone else in an imaginary personality and/or looks contest. Because, in my opinion, everything in the south is about some kind of contest.
An easier row to hoe. Translation: 'We'll be on easy street soon enough! Things just have to get better, right?' My Great-Grandfather was a very, very poor sharecropper who worked in the cotton fields of southern Georgia and he passed this saying along to his daughter who became my Nana (Grandmother). I heard it quite often in my childhood and was always amazed at the optimism that even the most down-in-the-heels (aka down on their luck aka unlucky) people had in their lives.
Madder than a wet hen. Translation: Really, really, really mad. A 'stay-the-fuck-away-from-me' kind of mad. 'Someone's-sleeping-on-the-couch-tonight' kind of mad.
Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. Translation: This charming statement is about not telling a lie or exaggeration to someone. If only so you don't have to hear someone talk about pissing on people's legs.
It ain't worth a plug nickel. Translation: A nice way of saying that something isn't worth anything. I think this came from the West but it's become part of the vernacular in my hometown area.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack! Translation: Um,
that isn't going to fly around here. Hey, a twofer! What this means is that your apology isn't going to be accepted but you should keep trying anyway or else things just might get even worse.
Not since Hector was a pup! Translation: See
knee high to a grasshopper (above). I've always wondered about that Hector...he must've been mighty special.
They don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Translation: They don't have much of anything. I must say that I'm starting to get a bit concerned at the numerous pee references in all these sayings...
I'm so hungry that my stomach thinks my throat's been cut. Translation: A very graphic and dramatic way to say that is one is very, very, very hungry. The very opposite of peckish.
As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Translation: Freaking terrified.
If that don't get your fire started then your wood is wet. Translation: Not as dirty as it sounds...or is it? It means that if a, b or c doesn't get you motivated then nothing will. Still sounds dirty to me.
Annnnnnd, my all-time favorite and still used by me almost daily during pep talks with self...
Why are you going around your ass to get to your elbow? Translation: Why are making things so difficult? It's easy peasy!
These are the one's that I heard the most often in my childhood but there are many more floating around out there. You probably didn't expect all of the cursing and pee talk, did you? I'm sure I'll lose a few followers over my pottymouth (it never fails that someone drops me after I write 'fuck' in a blog post...
UPDATE: make that 2 people and a scathing email about proper language from ladies...seriously?...have you ever read my blog before?...pfffft...) but for those of you who braved the whole read, well, I salute you! You've made me
happier than a pig in shit.
Oh, and I'd love to hear some of the idioms from where you live! Share! Keep them nice though, ok?
